I meet Adam in a small coffee shop on the ground floor of an office building. "Are you going to the event too? Would you like some coffee?" He smiles, and I exhale. In a room full of strangers, one smile can mean a lot. He wears cream-colored jeans and a white jacket to match. His black curly hair peeks out from under his baseball cap. We talk during the break.
About music, Morocco, and how he regrets not being fluent in Arabic. About Oxford, Kafka, and English literature. Free breakfasts at his school, Colchester, where he grew up, and about "Psychodrama" by Dave. He tells me about Corporate Law, which he was supposed to end up in. And about that day in the park when everything changed.
Adam: I work as a private tutor for a living. I enjoy observing a young soul actively growing in real time. Education has a huge impact on our lives. If you can inspire someone to enjoy learning, you will help them for years to come.
However, as a rapper, I would say that music always comes first. Even if my day goes as badly as it possibly could, it's still a good day because it's a music day.
I think that people who do what they enjoy create a positive impact on the society around them. I hope that if someone hears my journey, they will realize they can do the same.
DM: What are you? Please, describe yourself.
A: Ethnically, I am British-Moroccan. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the chance to properly learn my native language when I was young. In that sense, I sometimes feel like an outsider in my own family.
On the other hand, I was born in the UK, I have a British passport, but I still get comments like: “Go back home; you don’t belong here; we don’t come to your country.”
In the UK, I also feel different.
Sometimes people ask, "Where are you REALLY from?" and I reply - "I’m from Essex; I’m from Colchester." Because that’s where I grew up. I am from there, even if I don’t look British. And that’s really important.
What am I as a person? That’s a great question… First of all, I am just a human being, like everyone else. With my emotions, ambitions, goals, fears, aspirations, likes, and dislikes.
Sometimes people ask, "Where are you REALLY from?"
and I reply - "I’m from Essex; I’m from Colchester."
Because that’s where I grew up.
I am from there, even if I don’t look British.
And that’s really important.
and I reply - "I’m from Essex; I’m from Colchester."
Because that’s where I grew up.
I am from there, even if I don’t look British.
And that’s really important.
A: Reflecting on my background, being British-Moroccan in Colchester was a unique experience. My journey to Oxford University from the circumstances I was born into was also unique. In that sense, I am definitely different from anyone else. But I wouldn’t say I am special.
First of all, I identify myself as a human being; I am just like everyone else.
Anyone can celebrate who they are because of the nationality, gender, or sexuality they identify themselves with. I would like people in the majority to know that I am still here, and I am not sacrificing my identity to make them feel more comfortable.
DM: Do you consider yourself a lonely person?
A: I try not to be. I really enjoy being around people: going out to cafes, taking walks, I love team sports. But when it comes to making my music, it can sometimes feel lonely, because if something goes wrong, you are on your own.
DM: What do you respect yourself for?
A: I really respect myself for being able to adapt. I spent a lot of time moving away from the Oxford mindset, which was focused heavily on achievements. I’m not so competitive, and I’m not so time-pressured anymore. It helps a lot to be in the moment, to be able to feel the vibe, which is essential for my music. I have a huge respect for myself for taking control of my life, even though it was intimidating.
I am definitely different
from anyone else.
But I wouldn’t say I am special.
First of all, I identify myself
as a human being.
But I wouldn’t say I am special.
First of all, I identify myself
as a human being.
A: Sometimes my imagination, creativity, and ideas get ahead of me and cause me to neglect important things—like how I feel, what is my energy level. I finished my degree feeling completely exhausted and anxious, and I was only 21. That’s when I realized that we all have limitations. At the end of the day, I’m only human.
DM: Do you consider yourself a free person?
A: I definitely feel much freer compared to what I would have been.
In a world where the rules are created by a small group of people, you have to accept those rules to succeed. In this sense, if I had stayed in Commercial Law, I would have become a product of that environment. I can’t call that freedom.
By being an artist, I can talk about whatever I want. On a day-to-day basis, I have a lot of choices. With this autonomy, I experience a lot of growth—both as a tutor and as a musician.
DM: What is success for you?
A: For me, success is mostly about “Am I growing?” And I don’t want to say “as fast as I can” because when I start adding conditions, it becomes stressful. It becomes for someone else. As long as I’m creating, as long as I’m stretching myself and allowing myself to be stretched, I think that’s success.
Is it important for me to be successful? Well, we need to be realistic. At the end of the day, I need to get paid to live. But as an artist, I’m happy to be in a place where success feels internal. Where I can achieve it by simply being myself. I believe my success will take care of itself.
In a world where the rules are created
by a small group of people,
you have to accept those rules to succeed. (...)
I can’t call that freedom.
by a small group of people,
you have to accept those rules to succeed. (...)
I can’t call that freedom.
A: A lot of things. One of them is not having enough time. Not being good enough. I’m really trying to move away from a fear-motivated mindset.
When transitioning from being an Oxford alumnus to a rap artist, I was worried about how people would accept it. I would turn up to events with my mates and now I would speak and act differently. What would they think about me? It was absolutely terrifying. Overcoming those fears makes me proud of myself.
DM: One question for a man?
A: What does being a man mean to you? That’s what I would like to know.
What does being a man mean to you?
That’s what I would like to know.
That’s what I would like to know.
A: I try not to see gender boundaries where they don’t need to exist. I know so many women who can do everything a man can do in terms of leadership, control, earning money, and being strong—things that people often associate with typical male traits.
At the same time, I can’t ignore the fact that I am a man. I am very aware of the privileges I get because of my gender: the level of safety, the freedom to control unwanted attention, the ability to accept compliments about my physical appearance without being harassed.
However, with all these “benefits” come disadvantages. I think men could be so much better at talking about their emotions, improving their ability to recognize their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and finally, creating a safe space for other men—something I believe women are very good at.